"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority ... the Constitution was made to guard against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters." - Noah Webster

"There is no worse tyranny than forcing a man to pay for what he does not want just because you think it would be good for him."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

Friday, May 20, 2011

I Got Dinner And A Show

Twyla's mom and dad came for a visit this past week.  After we enjoyed a nice lunch, Twyla's mom did a presentation.  She gave me a book; one page at a time.  With each page came a gift corresponding with the page number.  I share this presentation here.

This is not a problem.  We have quite a few trees around here.  Oak, Maple, Poplar, Dogwood.  I can handle this.

Okay, the first thing was pretty easy.  This one made me think there was some work involved.  "Level???" Level ground in the North Georgia mountains?  I'd have to think about this.

Oh.  I thought she just brought that table for this special magic act.  Apparently this is my gift.

There was a basin with a tag on it.  Number four.  Cool.  It will be very nice to have a bird bath in the yard.  Oh, wait.  There's another piece of paper.

Plus a little bag with the number five on it.  A pretty little yellow saucer.  Maybe a little birdseed could go in there?  Oh, wait, there's another page being put in front of me.

And there's another bag with a bar of soap.  Okay, I haven't seen any raccoons around here, and even though they might wash stuff before they eat it, I don't think they use soap.  Oh, wait; there's another piece of paper.

There's a hook.  Now I'm confused.  Are the birds supposed to perch there, or do the raccoons hang up their coats?  Oh, wait, there's another piece of paper.

I suppose if I provide towels and some name brand colognes the raccoons will leave me some tips?

Oh, wait, there's another piece of paper.

There is bag number nine with a hand-made ceramic comb holder that even has a little drain hole in it, in case it rains.  Now I'm pretty sure this is for the raccoons so they can comb the ticks out of their fur, but I'm pretty sure that I will have to spend a lot of time showing them how to hold the comb and use it correctly.

Oh, wait, there's another piece of paper.

Bag number 10 has a mirror in it.  I don't think raccoons have ever seen a mirror before and besides that, I don't think they are all that concerned about their personal appearance.  Or maybe it's so the raccoon can see the bear trying to sneak up on him while he's washing?

Oh, wait, there's another piece of paper.

So that's what the bucket with the number eleven tag is for.  I thought maybe Twyla's parents were worried we don't have indoor toilets up here in the mountains.  I guess they thought the raccoons need a place to go before they wash up.

Oh, wait, there's another piece of paper.

One last bag with number 12 on it.  It has this cute little porcelain on steel pot with a straight handle.  If the raccoons want to cook something before they eat it, that's all fine and well, but I am not going to be responsible for teaching them how to start a fire.  Like I need to be hassled by the Dept. of Natural Resources or some forestry ranger.

Oh, wait, there's another piece of paper.

Oh.  Well, that's different!  So, all this was for little old me.  I didn't know I was getting all that bad out there in the garden.  (Ha!!  Sometimes I get so grungy working in the garden I look like I need a fire hose turned on me for 15 minutes.)

You are probably wondering about the finished product from all this, so below are the after action pics.

I cheated on leveling off a piece of ground.  I just used rocks to level the table.  This is one of the maple trees down near the road, not far from the mailbox.

Now I'll be able to see the raccoons trying to sneak up on me while I'm washing up.  In reality, this mirror actually was used outdoors by my wife's grandmother for years.  It truly is a family heirloom.

Gotta admit that looks mighty inviting.  I really am going to enjoy using that when the weather is hot.  On the days that I don't, I'll bet the birds around here are going to enjoy it.

Twyla's mom has her own kiln and fires her pottery in her garage. It actually says "comb" on it, so I won't forget what it's there for.  "Ima" is always looking out for me.  Of course, she has lots of practice looking out for Twyla's dad.   It's nice to know I won't have to keep that comb in my pocket while I'm working.  But I may have to rethink that if I find any raccoon hairs in it.

Here's the finished product as folks will see it from the road.  I'm such a show-off.  I'm sure I'll get some questions at the next neighborhood pot-luck supper.

Another anniversary passed for my having entered into this world.  Baruch HaShem, I am enjoying pretty good health for being half a century old.  That's pretty amazing when I think about it.  Even more amazing is that my wife's parents are not only still with us, but they are in excellent health for being octogenarians.

It's extremely nice to have someone put that kind of time and thought into a gift.  Hopefully, my next post will be about the gift that my lovely wife got for me.  That one really tickled me.  I love looking at it everyday.  It's kind of growing on me.

Shalom Y'all

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