"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority ... the Constitution was made to guard against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters." - Noah Webster

"There is no worse tyranny than forcing a man to pay for what he does not want just because you think it would be good for him."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Invisible Art, Invisible Brains

If this turns out to be a hoax, I apologize.

What are these people looking at?

A 27-year-old New York artist has invented something called "invisible art" and she is making millions selling it to people who absolutely must have it. 

A documentary team from the Canadian Broadcasting radio network traveled to Lana Newstrom's empty studio to learn more about her art that isn't there. 
"Just because you can't see anything, doesn't mean I didn't put hours of work into creating a particular piece," Newstrom told the CBC.  "Art is about imagination and that is what my work demands of the people interacting with it. You have to imagine a painting or sculpture is in front of you." 
The most amusing aspect of the story is the image of snobby art collectors walking through an empty studio studiously staring at blank walls with track lighting properly illuminating the nothingness on display. Some of the art afficianados actually stop and soak in the lack of art that is not hanging on the blank wall and tilt their heads in a deeply thoughtful way as if to project their profound understanding of the message sent by the brilliant young artist and her stunning ability to not create anything.  
Newstrom's agent, who is undoubtedly raking in a nice commission by his client's ability to not do anything, says, "When she describes what you can't see, you begin to realize why one of her invisible works can fetch upwards of a million dollars."
This story was not, we repeat, not published in The Onion. 

I wish I had the funds to hire a polling firm to be there every hour the gallery is open, and be able to demand that every person who walks through the door submit to the questionnaire that I get to design.  There will be a string of non-threatening, innocuous questions.  Then there will be these questions:

(#) Would you support tax-payer funding for this art through the NEA?

(#) Of all the pieces you have viewed here today, which one had the most impact on you, and why? Please be very specific.

(#) What policital party or philosophy of government would you describe yourself as being most aligned with?  Again, be very specific.

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